What? Dead tooth? She didn't have a dead tooth. You remember Maureen Ponderosa, right, Charlie? I remember her dead tooth, dude. Maureen Ponderosa was my girlfriend in 10th grade, and we were so in love. What the shit are you talking about? Frank, I'm talking about Maureen Ponderosa. You know, I always thought I'd be married by now.Īll that talk about marriage and everything - It's got me thinking about myself and my situation and I guess I always thought I'd be married by now. You're trying to confuse me, because that's what God's work - Ah - Oh, he's getting himself all worked up, huh? Yeah. I'm gonna find a Bible, I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna school you sons of bitches.īecause you guys are trying to confuse me. I don't have enough facts to support my argument. Why don't we have a Bible? - We never have.
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Where's our Bible? - "Where's our Bible?" - Where's our goddamn Bible? - We don't have a Bible in here. It clearly says in the Bible that gay marriage is wrong. No, Charlie, this is about the big man upstairs, okay, getting boxed out. Mac, dude, I think you're just getting upset that the tranny married some guy that's not you, and that's what this is about. Run that right up the ladder, right? - Run it up the ladder. You should take your powerful extension cord argument straight to the supreme court. Marriage is about procreation, okay? This is gay marriage. Oh, everybody up on their high horse of marriage all of a sudden. I'm all for it, and I think everyone should be entitled to it. It's between two people who decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together because they love each other very much. Who gives a shit if gays want to be miserable like everybody else and get married? Let 'em do it. That's different, 'cause this new guy- if I'm hearing correctly - he waited until she got her dick cut off before he banged her. What are you saying? No! Charlie, that is completely different, and you know it. Oh, that's great! Congratulations to her.Īnd how is that gay? Well, for starters, clearly, her husband is a homosexual, okay? Why are you making that assumption? Because he's with a tranny? You were with the tranny. She got her dick cut off and she married a dude. What in God's name are you talking about? - Is this the big news? - No.
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SCRIPT IT ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA FULL
I was so full of protein, okay? I went to get my pump on, but I couldn't get my pump on.Ĭlearly, I did get my pump on, but that's 'cause I just did a bunch of push-ups outside. So I went down to the gym this morning, right? I was all amped up, 'cause Charlie and I found a bunch of nuts.
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Why? Why, why, why? - Why would you feed us alley almonds? - Why wouldn't you tell us that? - They're perfectly good. A squirrel must have piled them up and then got hit by a car. I found them in, like - in a little pile in the alleyway. Now, what do you guys think? They're good almonds, right? - They are tasty. Uh, Mac, I would like you to meet my husband, Nick. What are you doing this afternoon? - How's it goin'? Uh- It's goin' good, pal but, uh, the lady isn't interested.
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Get out! That's fantastic! I thought I was gonna get a phone call after the old snip-snip 'cause we talked about that, but either way, now that you're dickless, I'm into it. I'm gonna need you to either buy your own membership, or get out. What is not to believe? I am absolutely Dennis Reynolds.īecause I have actually packed on since that picture was taken, bro. I don't understand why you're insisting on jamming me up here, bro.